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Enola Holmes ** (Netflix) - Read Conan Doyle for two hours instead

 I haven't posted many (any?) film reviews because none has struck me as good enough or bad enough to be worth the effort. Unfortunately, Enola Holmes (Netflix)comes in the latter category.

Now, it's pretty hard to mess up a Sherlock Holmes mash-up. Indeed, there have been many highly successful and amusing such films over the years from The Seven Percent Solution, They Might Be GiantsYoung Sherlock Holmes to Sherlock Holmes' Smarter Brother, The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, and the Canadian TV series, The Adventures of Shirley Holmes. Of course, the Mark Gatiss/Stephen Moffat series Sherlock deftly combined humour, wit, adventure with a 21st century spin to give us stories that delighted and exasperated in nearly equal measure. There are others, as well as the straight adaptations of the stories.

Masquerading as a ripping yarn for young adults, the bottom line is that Enola Holmes is a woke diatribe. Rich, white, establishment men are bad; young rebellious feminist girls will take over the world. 

The plot is clunky and even when all the threads are resolved, it's surprisingly unsatisfying. 

While the sets and period settings are magnificent, they were not without some poor production decisions.

For example, towards the end, Enola receives a message to meet someone [no spoilers here], at the Royal Academy. Where she goes is to the Drum Court of what is now the Department of the Treasury. Arguably, it wasn't even built at the time the film is set. Okay, if the Royal Academy (and other institutions that occupy the Burlington House complex)was unavailable, why not change the line? Doh!

Another not so sleight of hand in the propaganda is that Sherlock Holmes is very much in the background. His lesser-known brother, Mycroft, is cast as the villain, so as not to upset the millions of Sherlock Holmes fans (who are probably paying the Netflix subscriptions).

While performances are good, they are either inconsistent or very much the stereotypes that the woke brigade condemns. The Holmes' mother (Helena Bonham-Carter) is unfathomable. She is practical and clever, but ultimately irresponsible. She vacillates between Cinderella's Fairy Godmother and Bellatrix Lestrange. 

Frances de la Tour gives a wonderful performance as the White Duchess-like grandmother of the erstwhile hero, but, again, her character and motivation make no sense. She loves her vision of England, yet is willing to kill her own flesh and blood to preserve it.  What does she think she is preserving? A few old buildings and trees?

And, so it goes. 

Millie Bobby Brown is just about plausible as Enola (if anyone can be). She's engaging enough, but her character, too, is muddled. Enola turns on and off her affection at the same speed she switches her ideals and principles (and clothing). Again, there are fatuous blunders. We're led to believe that she is unprepared for the "real world", yet this girl who was brought up in a large country house accepts Diagon Alley standard accommodation as acceptable. Doh, again.

Yes, I watched it to the end, but interrupted my viewing several times to do something to repair my sensibilities. I doubt I could have made it through otherwise.

When you have millions of pounds (or dollars) to spend, consistent scripts, characters and the accurate portrayal of place should be a given. (At one stage, Limehouse appears to be south of the river! - Netflix: you can learn these things on Google Earth for free!).

The depressing thing is someone had to think of the story (for real subscribers' money), and show it to his boss who said, "That's a good idea" (for more subscribers' money) who turns it into film which was viewed by the producers (who think, "That's worth their salaries - and ours!")and then release it.

Such contempt for audiences is despicable, but, what the hey, it furthers the woke message and, I suppose they think that's all right.


For a more plausible Sherlock Holmes' pastiche, read "The Remarkable Adventure of the Royal Society" in my Undivulged Crimes.



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